Happiness is a choice. This is not just my opinion. It is also what the research in the field of positive psychology tells us. I can tell you because I tested myself. I adopted a positive mindset since I started learning the power we have over our mind, years ago. I was not a happy person for half of my life. I changed my thoughts, my attitude and my life changed. Happiness is a state of mind.
Happiness is not a stress free life or a life that we don’t feel negative emotions. To the contrary, we feel whatever comes, we understand it and take an appropriate action that aligns with our values.
Shaw Achor, one of the top researchers of Happiness and positive psychology says :
“Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change, it is the realization that we can.”
In my years of research on positive physiology, creating success and health I came up with 3 core elements that lead us to a happy life. I will present on my future blogs all three elements and the daily habits of happiness. Cultivating happiness is like creating a healthy body; it requires daily routines and habits that brings us the outcome we desire.
Core element #1 :
” I Am responsible for my thoughts, actions and behaviors”
This means we don’t blame anyone, anything for the circumstance in our lives. We are creators, according to the laws of life.
This does not mean we should take it all and beat ourselves up for what we feel or the mistakes we make. This simply states that we have the power of changing our feelings about a situation or someone at anytime. Our feelings and emotions are generated from our beliefs and expectations of an outcome, what we call stories. When things don’t go the way we want or they don’t match the story we have in our head, we get disappointed, frustrated, angry and depressed at times.
It is extremely valuable to knowledge our feelings and emotions. We need to understand where they are coming from, so we can learn about ourselves and change. The only true control we all have is to change ourselves. In other words, someone might have given you all the reasons to be angry or feel hurt. Allow yourself to feel, to cry, to vent. But don’t dwell on those emotions for long. Evaluate them, evaluate this relationship and make a choice. Is there a way to talk and repair? Great, have the conversation and resolve it. Or walk away and let it go. Don’t hold those emotions, stop carrying someone else’s issues. Travel light. Move forward.
You always have a choice of what emotions you want to feel. Happy? Or angry all day?
So how do you start living this philosophy to make positive changes in your life?
1 – Awareness. Pay attention to what you feel, your body and your reactions.
2 – Core values. Write 3 words that you want to live by. Example: love, strength and courage.
3 – Design your habits, your behaviors and actions that align with those values.
Watch a 5 minutes video that summarizes it all and don’t miss the next blog on the 2nd core element of happiness.
Peace and love, Alex.