Most people would say yes, someone in my life is totally affecting my energy, my mood, my day, my happiness.
As a lifestyle and performance coach, I help my clients to amplify and sustain high energy. Energy, as you know is a huge word in my coaching vocabulary. Without energy we can’t perform at our highest levels, we can’t create, we don’t adapt as easily, we don’t have the same abilities to solve problems and we will reach out to foods that are unhealthy, with the hope we get more energy. It becomes a vicious cycle.
The more clients I coach, the more I learn that I big place of energy “leak” is allowing people to rob their energy. We all know well that some people are pure drama, energy vampires or simply needy and in many work environments you don’t have a choice to not be around someone who might be sucking your energy.
But this is the deal, we are responsible for protecting our energy.
We have an incredible power to influence how we feel.
I want to give you one of my main strategies that will help you to protect your energy around people:
“It is not your business”.
Don’t take their drama, don’t fall into the trap of their stories, their drama is not yours.
Choose happy, not right.
If someone is having some drama, creating unnecessary crisis and they are trying to get you into their drama you have a choice. Don’t “plug in’. Don’t take the invitation to either support something you don’t agree with or start an argument about how wrong they are. Stay way from judging them. The moment you go in, judge or argue you basically took the bait. You will participate in their drama and your energy will be drained.
So what to do?? First, have empathy, be kind, offer support if it is appropriate but don’t try to make you right and them wrong, don’t criticize them. Remember the arguments you had in the past with your partner, co-worker or friend and you judged them? Did it go well? I bet not. The moment you “attack” someone their ego will expand and the discussion will escalate from there. And second, if you can walk away, gently. I love using the words, ” I hear you”, because that is what they want, to be acknowledged and heard. You can say I am sorry I can’t help you, and move on to your day.
It is so easy to waste our energy because of our need to be right. That is why I love the belief of choosing happiness versus choosing right.
Peace and love, Alex.