Aka – fear of missing out.
I remember growing up as an only child, being in my room for hours entertaining myself. That was before computers, iPhone and Facebook, thank God!
I did not know what FOMO was until few years ago when I was coaching someone younger than me. She described her stress and anxiety as FOMO. I did not make much out it.
It was not until last year, during a session with my teacher/mentor that this came up. I realized that my need to always do, achieve more, being busy was coming from that childhood fear and it was not working for me or my success. That fear was that Life was passing by every day and I was “stuck” in a room, doing nothing important or fun. I was flat, even shut down as a teenager. It was not fun, I barely smiled and I would have some episodes of tantrums, and as teen that was not charming at all.
Being a kid was easier. I would just get on my bike and ride all day. Transitioning to a teenager was harder, as it is even these days. I watch the depression and anxiety growing among teens.
I had FOMO for sure and I am thankful there was no social media to compare my boring life with others teens having fun out there.
FOMO, like any other pain can push us to create changes. And as a coach I know that moving away from pain does not have a lot of drive underneath, or fuel, it is just a good jump start. Then we all need to find what we LOVE and use that as a moving towards energy. A reason that motivates us every day to learn, to grow, to show up!
Today instead of living with that fear, fear of not living my potential, fear of not doing the fun things I want to do, I use LOVE for LIFE and love for LEARNING as a motivator. Plus love for my career, helping my clients to live their potential as well.
I have so much reverence for LIFE and it makes me sad seeing many people wasting away precious time and energy focusing on what is wrong, on what is lacking, what is bad, what is not working…
I am not suggesting denial. I am suggesting knowledge those facts and find the LOVE. How can you SHOW UP more, better and feel positive, enthusiastic about your life, your career, your adventures, your new challenges, your health?
We all have 168 hours a week. Suppose you work 40 hours, sleep 56 hours, cook, eat, clean, for 28 hours…you still have 44 hours left.
How much time are you watching the news bombarding you with negative and false information to put you in fear. How much time are you binging on Netflix and numbing your emotions? Or navigating the internet, channels like a zombie? How much are you focusing on drama in order to be distracted from living YOUR potential?
No judgement, I do all those things once in a while and I do not make a habit. I make a concious decision to watch 3 hours of Netflix, I am concious when I do those things. The issue is when those activities highjack you and your brain, your soul. And with that, you start missing LIVING.
I asked someone few months ago – What is exciting in your life? She said, nothing. That is just sad.
There are always things to be grateful and excited for, always. Are you breathing? Can you feel the warm sun on your skin? Can you hear the birds chirping outside? Do you have healthy food on your plate? Do you have love in your life? Then you are blessed!
Life is a gift, every single day. What are you offering back to life? Because Life owes you nothing. Life simply wants you living, experiencing the beauty and being your best version. Are you being your best YOU? Is there for more joy, more love, more fun, more compassion, more forgiveness, more courage? More healing, more connection, more passion?
Then get up and BE more. We are so good on pushing, DOing more. I invite you to BE more, be better today than you were yesterday. And next DO what you love, Have what you want.
I can not think any reason to be bored in this life with so much to learn and see. I lived there, been there.
So if you are feeling down, cynical, fed up, depressed, anxious, hopeless, take a step back. Broaden your view, stop focusing on your problem. Close your eyes and fill your lungs with Oxygen. You are ALIVE, honor that. The world wants you, we want to see YOU living in your gifts and talents, we want to feel your presence.
Develop reverence for this Life, it is short. Every minute that passes we can not have it back.
Love and health, Alex.