In the T.V. show “WeCrashed”, we get to watch the insanity of a culture who’s mantra is “Hustle Harder”. A culture created by the messianic CEO Adam Neumann. His obsession with success and becoming bigger than Amazon made him a very wealthy man even though he failed miserably as a CEO. He walked with billions, so for that, I am sure we will continue to see millennials chasing money, status and success. That is very much our American culture –
success equals happiness, freedom and peace.
Well, we know how that story of success and happiness really goes – it is broken model and we have stories to illustrate that every day.
This blog is not about money or even happiness. It is about the a paradigm that is still very ingrained in most of us and it needs to be updated, evaluated, redesigned:
“Work harder, try harder”
Harder is pretty much the worse thing you can do when something in your life is not working. Trying harder is like driving your car faster when you realize you are going the wrong direction and instead of stopping to get your coordinates right, you press the gas to go even faster. That is “go harder” belief in action.
Think of the primary areas of your life: career, finances, relationships, health, personal growth and spiritual development. Which one you catch yourself pushing to work, trying harder, doing more?
For me used to be personal growth, if something in life was not working, I would read more books, attend more seminars, tried harder because maybe I did not know enough. Then there were those relationships that people were not really invested in nurturing the friendship, so I would try harder by giving more, offering more, “fixing”myself more…enough! So when I speak of “Harder” is the worse thing you can do I am speaking as a life coach, as a student of happiness and also someone who tried harder plenty of times. So much that it lead me to despair, depression and depletion at times.
So if the “Harder” paradigm is old and outdated and it no longer works at this new levels of consciousness that we are, what replaces it? What is a sound philosophy which we can adopt that will foster joy, peace, freedom, abundance and love in everything we do? These qualities are the very thing we chase.
“Less is more” – that is the new paradigm. It is the art of Being versus Doing, knowing when to act and when to let go and trust.
We don’t want money for the sake of money, we want freedom and peace. We don’t want just want a lasting romantic relationship, we want love and connection. We want the experiences, not the thing, truly.
We don’t get freedom by getting more money. I have coached plenty of successful high achievers who had millions and they were not free and they were anxious and stressed out all the time.
We don’t get connection and love by simply being in a relationship, how many of you have felt more lonely than ever while in a relationship?
Before I guide you here with some exercises to help you to stop the “harder” philosophy, I need your permission:
Are you ready to abandon that philosophy that you need to do harder to be successful in any area of your life? Are you ready to adopt a new paradigm of much less resistance, even no effort?
If YES, please continue… If NOT, thank you for reading thus far and continue on your path of “harder”, and in few months or years, tell me how it is going. Are you experiencing joy?
Want to start shifting the paradigm? Let’s do this.
First, grab a journal and write down the areas of your life that you are pushing too hard, trying too hard and there are no results, or there are and you are feeling totally flat, unfulfilled and exhausted.
Second, when you push harder, go harder, what is really driving you? What is that you want?
Third, how would you feel if you let go of your control? If you trusted that your guided actions will bring you results and you can let go worry, anxiety and fear? Pause and reflect on this one.
And last for now, who would you be without the fear? (fear of failure, fear of being inadequate, fear of being judged, fear of not being enough)
Take your time answering these 4 questions, they will reveal something to you. They will reveal your intrinsic motivation, your truth and the truth liberates you.
I am not here suggesting the opposite of “harder”, this is not about taking the “easy” path. Because honestly, shifting beliefs, letting go old personalities and habits is not easy at all. It is hard work at times. It is hard as it is, don’t make it harder. And once you start experiencing more freedom, joy, creativity, abundance and passion by doing less, the path becomes easier, much easier.
Much love, Alex.
P.S.: If you want to learn how I help achievers to go from hustling more to “less is more”, book a call by emailing me at : [email protected]