I never thought I would be writing about anxiety, at least not about me admitting that I grew up anxious and had many periods of anxiety through my life, I guess who did not? I did not admit this because I had this idea that anxiety was loud and clear, that it showed up like high stress or nerve breakdowns. I was wrong, anxiety can be quiet. That was the case for me. Except if you asked my Mom, I had many tantrums, I guess I was loud at times!
I was that person who always spoke about anxiety like it belonged to others, not me. Well, once I started researching more about what this condition of our mind is, I realized I was also a person who had anxiety. I realized it started when I was a kid, growing up with a father who had a hot temper and was emotionally unstable, at times verbally abusive. Mostly to my Mom, but I was there. I was terrified of him, which made me anxious anytime he came over after they divorced.
About 8-9 years ago, before I took the path of becoming a coach, I was working as a full time personal trainer. I was burned out with the health club industry, I was lost, I was broke and I had no vision. I was anxious.
Anxiety has a lot of to do with control, our need to control so much that we lose control. Ironic, isn’t it?
I masked my anxiety with hard discipline and drive. I say hard because these personal traits that can be great when used in a healthy way made me rigid and fed the anxiety . Every personal trait has a duality, or a shadow. I was hiding behind behaviors like hard discipline to read, intense drive to achieve and the need to please others so they could love me. Sounds familiar?
These were some of the symptoms of my anxiety – control, rigidity, tension, intense discipline, low self esteem, insecurity and isolation. Wow, I am so glad I am a different person! That does not sound like someone fun, that you would want to be around. So what changed? How did I realize I needed to change, you might ask.
I started doing some deep inner work when I embarked in my journey of becoming a coach and studying under Paul Chek. That was about the time I was in a unhealthy relationship, dealing with financial stress, burn out and the end of this relationship, which was a blessing that set me free. There was a crucial moment though, that happened during this time. When I finally understood-embodyed the concept that we are responsible for our lives and experiences, and that we have the power to create what we want, I made a deal with “God”, Universe, High Power, whatever works for you. The deal was that I was going to live my highest potential in this life. I asked guidance and I got it. That was a deal with myself, a deep commitment that I keep daily. My life changed. For the first time I really felt that I took control, control that was possible, control of my thoughts, actions and choices. When we take control, all those shadows of low self esteem, insecurity, self doubt dissolve. They come back once in a while, is part of the ego or shadow. They are under fear and fear never disappears. But we learn how to control our fear and not listen to it.
Anxiety snuck back in when I started Vitalé Studio. I felt lonely and lost many times as a solo entrepreneur. Overwhelm and fear was a constant. That, if not addressed becomes major anxiety. What saved was hiring a coach, someone who could guide me, be there for me, listen to my fear and help me with solutions and positivity. I am so grateful to all the coaches who guided me. Started with Paul Chek, then Vidya McNeill . When I opened the studio, Katie Drew, David Brownlee and now Karen Mozes. They deserve the recognition.
The reason I am sharing this with you is because I want to tell you that there is a way out. Anxiety is not a personality trait, it is an emotional condition. You are not Anxiety – you experience anxiety and that can be transformed and eliminated. Today I can help people who suffer this emotional malady because I have been there, I know the brain and I know many strategies that get us out of that state and transforms anxiety into excitement. Strategy number one is to have compassion for yourself, and number two, get intimate to all the reasons that are causing you anxiety. This is the beginning of creating changes. Then get help, don’t do this alone. Success can’t be achieved alone.
Every successful person has or had a mentor/coach. I am excellent in what I do because I have had coaches supporting me and I keep learning, growing, every day. Plus I have a partner and incredible friends who support me.
If you experience anxiety and it is affecting your work, relationships, your health and your ability to have fun, stop now. Call someone, there is no need for you to suffer anymore. Call me now to learn how I might be able to help you. Or at least register for our webinar here. Celeste, a skilled therapist and myself are hosting a hour free webinar on anxiety, don’t miss it. Share this blog with people you know who are hurting because of anxiety. Like I said, anxiety can be quiet, it does not mean it s not hurting.
Peace and love, Alex.
P.S.: Don’t forget to REGISTER and learn more about anxiety.